When Bryce and I found out that we were expecting this cute little bugger
we were pumped! I couldn’t wait! Everyone told me that it would change things, BUT I thought that being from a family of eleven and being a pretty hard working person, that I would be able to manage it perfectly. I mean, especially since I’m taking the year off for maternity, I’ll be able to get A LOT done! psshhhh
I always told Bryce that our house would never look like those homes of those “people who have kids.”
I had this vision in my head of Bryce coming home from work to dinner prepared, home cleaned, filing cabinet organized, bassoon practiced, and Micah content from all the playing and learning. (Stop laughing at me)
Things are definitely starting to come along easier, don’t get me wrong (all the mothers of multiple children are now shaking their heads). I think what I’ve been experiencing is “accomplishment anxiety”. I have all of these things in my head that I want to accomplish and check off of my list while home on leave, but none of them are getting checked! I need to keep reminding myself that my primary purpose at this point is caring for Micah.
I recently read this and thought it worth sharing. It was a great reminder for me:
Author Anna Quindlen, in her book Loud and Clear said, “The biggest mistake I made as a mother is the one that most of us make…..I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of my children sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4, and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in a hurry to get on to the next things: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.”